I’ve been reading a lot about depression lately. One thing that surprised me is that depression isn’t always sadness. Sometimes it’s the loss of our ability to feel life. We stop feeling excited about things. We stop wanting to create, connect, or express ourselves. Little by little, our world gets smaller.
The image that comes to mind is an old movie. The story is still playing. But the colors slowly fade to black and white. The sound becomes muffled.
Eventually, life is still happening around us, but we’re no longer really in it.
That’s when I started wondering whether we’ve misunderstood the purpose of mental health. We often talk about mental health as if the goal is happiness. More positive emotions. But I don’t think a healthy mind is one that feels happy all the time. A healthy mind is one that can feel everything.
Joy. Grief. Wonder. Disappointment. Love. Loneliness. Awe. Fear. Hope. Regret.
All of it.
Because all of it belongs.
A symphony isn’t beautiful because of one instrument. It’s beautiful because all the instruments are allowed to play.
We spend so much energy trying to avoid pain. We drink. We scroll. We shop. We work. We distract ourselves. But when we numb pain, we often numb everything else too. That’s why I don’t think the opposite of depression is happiness.I think the opposite of depression is participation.
Showing up for life. Even when it’s awkward, painful and uncertain.
So instead of wishing you happiness, I want to wish you a life that feels vivid.
Go play.
Go explore.
Go embarrass yourself.
Go be afraid.
Go be brave.
Go fail.
Go grieve.
Go learn.
Go create.
Go love.
Go express yourself.
Go fully experience this strange and beautiful life.
Because happiness isn’t the goal.
Being fully alive is.